我15岁那年离家出走去了埃塞俄比亚...。但无法躲避我自己

2020-10-14 06:36

I ran away to Ethiopia age 15... but couldn't hide from myself: LORD OATES was a vicar's son, tormented by his sexuality, who set off with a stolen credit card to help Africa's starving - but ended up suicidal. What happened next is a life-affirming tale GBU世界播

我15岁那年离家出走去了埃塞俄比亚...。但我无法躲避自己:奥茨勋爵是一位牧师的儿子,他的性取向折磨着他,他带着一张偷来的信用卡去帮助非洲饥饿的人-但最终自杀了。接下来发生的事情是一个肯定生命的故事。GBU世界播


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A cold sweat seeped through my pores as I endured the immigration official’s scrutiny, his severe glance alternating between me and the photo in my passport. GBU世界播

当我忍受移民局官员的仔细检查时,一股冷汗渗入我的毛孔,他严厉的目光在我和护照上的照片之间交替。GBU世界播


A few months previously he might have challenged the arrival of an unaccompanied 15-year-old English schoolboy in Ethiopia. GBU世界播

几个月前,他可能会对埃塞俄比亚一名无人陪伴的15岁英国学童的到来提出质疑。GBU世界播


But this was August 1985 and the country was in the grip of its devastating famine. GBU世界播

但那是1985年8月,这个国家正处于毁灭性的饥荒之中。GBU世界播


With aid staff, journalists and the occasional pop-star-turned-humanitarian flooding through the airport near the capital Addis Ababa, the official contented himself with suspicious looks, grimly stamped my passport and took the immigration card I had completed on the plane. GBU世界播

在首都亚的斯亚贝巴附近的机场,救援人员、记者和偶尔涌入流行歌星出身的人道主义人士蜂拥而至,这名官员用可疑的目光满足了自己,在我的护照上加盖了冷酷的印章,并拿走了我在飞机上填写的移民卡。GBU世界播


Among other details, this had demanded to know where I would be staying, which gave rise to my first misgiving. GBU世界播

在其他细节中,这要求知道我将住在哪里,这引起了我的第一个疑虑。GBU世界播


Having run away from home, I had no money, except a battered 1 note, 30 birr in Ethiopian currency and the American Express card I had stolen from my father, an Anglican vicar. GBU世界播

离家出走后,除了一张破旧的GB1纸币、埃塞俄比亚货币的30比尔和我从父亲那里偷来的美国运通卡外,我什么钱都没有。我父亲是一名圣公会牧师。GBU世界播


I had come to volunteer as an aid worker but I could hardly put ‘feeding camp’ as my address, so I’d flicked through the in-flight magazine looking for hotel advertisements. GBU世界播

我是来当救援人员的志愿者,但我几乎不能把“喂食营地”作为我的地址,所以我翻阅了一下飞机上的杂志,寻找酒店的广告。GBU世界播


There was only one, for the Hilton Hotel, so I put that down. GBU世界播

只有一张,是希尔顿酒店的,所以我把它放下了。GBU世界播


Although it meant little to me then, it turned out the words I wrote on that card would save my life. GBU世界播

虽然当时对我来说意义不大,但事实证明,我写在卡片上的话可以救我的命。GBU世界播


Twenty-eight years later, as chief of staff to Nick Clegg, the UK’s then Deputy Prime Minister, I would return to Addis Ababa. GBU世界播

28年后,作为时任英国副首相尼克·克莱格(Nick Clegg)的幕僚长,我将回到亚的斯亚贝巴。GBU世界播


During a dinner at the British Embassy I was asked about that trip I undertook as a teenager GBU世界播

在英国大使馆的一次晚宴上,有人问起我十几岁时参加的那次旅行。GBU世界播


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LORD OATES:I took a photo of myself in a passport photo booth at the airport and enclosed it in the letter GBU世界播

奥茨勋爵:我在机场的护照照相亭里拍了一张自己的照片,并把它附在信里GBU世界播


Those listening to me saw it as something romantic and brave, and that was certainly how I portrayed it to my parents in the letter I posted them from Heathrow. GBU世界播

那些听我讲话的人认为这是一种浪漫和勇敢的东西,这肯定是我在希思罗机场寄给父母的信中对他们的描述。GBU世界播


‘By the time you read this I will be in Addis Ababa and heading for the famine camps,’ it started, explaining that I wanted to ‘save the dying’. GBU世界播

“当你读到这篇文章的时候,我已经在亚的斯亚贝巴,正在前往饥荒营地的路上,”它开始写道,解释说我想‘拯救垂死的人’。GBU世界播


‘I am not running away,’ I wrote. ‘I am running to something.’ That was a lie. GBU世界播

“我不会逃跑的,”我写道。“我在跑着去什么地方。”那是个谎言。GBU世界播


The next two sentences I heavily crossed out — but my parents would still have been able to read them: ‘If I am dragged back I WILL KILL MYSELF. GBU世界播

接下来的两句话我重重地划掉了--但我的父母仍然能够读到它们:“如果我被拖回来,我会自杀的。”GBU世界播


Would I? I don’t know but please don’t try it out.’ GBU世界播

我会吗?我不知道,但请不要试。GBU世界播


I took a photo of myself in a passport photo booth at the airport and enclosed it in the letter. GBU世界播

我在机场的护照照相亭拍了一张自己的照片,并把它附在信里。GBU世界播


Like so many, my world had been changed by Michael Buerk’s BBC broadcast the previous October, the simplicity of his language overlaying harrowing footage of the dead as he alerted the world. GBU世界播

和许多人一样,我的世界也被迈克尔·布尔克(Michael Buerk)去年10月在英国广播公司(BBC)播出的节目所改变,他简洁的语言覆盖了他向世界发出警告时死者的令人痛心的画面。GBU世界播


But the injustice of the famine ignited a fury within me that was already smouldering. GBU世界播

但是饥荒的不公在我心中点燃了一股怒火,这股怒火已经在酝酿之中。GBU世界播


That was fuelled by my feelings of being alone and different, because of the awakening sexuality which I feared — and which the world taught me to despise. GBU世界播

这是因为我感到孤独和不同,因为我害怕觉醒的性行为--世界教会我鄙视这种性行为。GBU世界播


At Marlborough College, the public school to which I’d won a scholarship, I’d fallen painfully for my best friend Will and this unrequited love contributed to a profound depression which remained until my late 20s. GBU世界播

在我获得奖学金的公立学校马尔伯勒学院(Marlborough College),我痛苦地爱上了我最好的朋友威尔,这种单相思导致了一种深深的抑郁,一直持续到我快30岁。GBU世界播


I am not talking about feeling a bit down.This was a suffocating web that choked my sense of self-worth. GBU世界播

我不是说感觉有点低落。“这是一个令人窒息的网络,扼杀了我的自我价值感。”GBU世界播


Each night I prayed I would not wake the next morning. GBU世界播

每晚我都祈祷第二天早上不要醒来。GBU世界播


I was desperately unhappy at home and at school, angry at the world for all its stupidities and confused by the adolescent hormones pumping around my body. I was in love for the first time, with a boy, and I couldn’t tell him — or even, really, myself. GBU世界播

我在家里和学校都非常不开心,对这个世界上所有的愚蠢行为感到愤怒,对我身体周围涌动的青春期荷尔蒙感到困惑。我第一次爱上了一个男孩,我不能告诉他,甚至不能告诉我自己。GBU世界播


I was a seriously messed-up teenager, but still I might never have gone to Ethiopia had it not been for what I saw as a sign from God. GBU世界播

我是一个严重混乱的青少年,但如果不是因为我看到了上帝的预兆,我可能永远也不会去埃塞俄比亚。GBU世界播


My father had just been appointed rector of St Bride’s Church on Fleet Street and we lived in the rectory. GBU世界播

我父亲刚刚被任命为舰队街圣新娘教堂的教务长,我们住在教区教区。GBU世界播


One morning, I went down to my dad’s study and lying on his desk was his new American Express card — unsigned. GBU世界播

一天早上,我下楼去我父亲的书房,发现他的桌子上放着他的新美国运通卡--没有签名。GBU世界播


On the front, it read MR J OATES — fortuitously, we shared the same initial — so I signed it and caught the bus to the Ethiopian Airlines office, and bought my ticket to Addis Ababa. GBU世界播

正面写着J·奥茨先生--幸运的是,我们的名字首字母相同--所以我签了名,搭上了去埃塞俄比亚航空公司办公室的公交车,然后买了去亚的斯亚贝巴的机票。GBU世界播


My visa application was never questioned, and with my vaccinations completed I packed a hold-all with three white T-shirts, three changes of socks and boxer shorts, and a Book of Common Prayer. GBU世界播

我的签证申请从未被质疑过,接种完疫苗后,我带了三件白色T恤,三双换洗的袜子和拳击短裤,还有一本共同祈祷书。GBU世界播


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Lord Oates with Father Charlesoutside St Matthew's Anglican Church, Addis Ababa in 2013 GBU世界播

2013年,奥茨勋爵和查尔斯神父在亚的斯亚贝巴圣马修圣公会教堂外GBU世界播


On the day of departure, I told my mum I was staying at a friend’s, caught the Tube to Heathrow and boarded the flight to Ethiopia wearing faded denim jeans, a striped business shirt and, for reasons best known to my teenage self, a dinner jacket. GBU世界播

出发那天,我告诉妈妈我住在朋友家,搭地铁去希思罗机场,穿着褪色的牛仔牛仔裤、条纹商务衬衫和晚礼服(这是我十几岁时最熟悉的原因)登上了飞往埃塞俄比亚的航班。GBU世界播


I remember my first glimpse of Africa from the plane, the straw-thatched huts dotting the rural expanse and the beauty of the light on the land. GBU世界播

我记得我第一次从飞机上瞥见非洲,点缀在乡村广袤土地上的稻草茅草小屋和陆地上美丽的灯光。GBU世界播


But the novelty and excitement of my first day in Ethiopia were quickly replaced by awareness of the predicament I had placed myself in. GBU世界播

但是,我在埃塞俄比亚的第一天的新奇和兴奋很快被意识到我所处的困境所取代。GBU世界播


As I emerged into the light of an African morning, I was determined to conserve what little cash I had so I ignored the buses and taxis and set off on foot towards what I hoped was the centre of Addis. GBU世界播

当我在一个非洲早晨的阳光下出现时,我决心节省我仅有的一点现金,所以我忽略了公交车和出租车,步行前往我希望是亚的斯亚贝巴中心的地方。GBU世界播


Running off the road were dirt alleys, leading to impromptu settlements of corrugated-iron roofs held up by mud walls, and the air was laden with the fumes of ancient Ladas. GBU世界播

路外是泥泞的小巷,通向由泥墙支撑的波状铁皮屋顶的即兴定居点,空气中弥漫着古代拉达的烟雾。GBU世界播


Fear grew in my stomach as a group of young children gathered around me. ‘Where you go, faranj?’ demanded one, using the Ethiopian word for a white person. GBU世界播

当一群年幼的孩子聚集在我周围时,我的胃里恐惧起来。“你要去哪里,法兰吉?”其中一人问道,他用埃塞俄比亚语形容白人。GBU世界播


Telling them I was going to the city centre elicited blank looks. I later discovered that Addis doesn’t really have one. GBU世界播

告诉他们我要去市中心,引起了茫然的目光。后来我发现亚的斯亚贝巴其实并没有。GBU世界播


So I tried ‘Hilton Hotel’ which seemed to mean more to them and they insisted on carrying my bag with a reverence more appropriate for a holy relic. GBU世界播

所以我尝试了“希尔顿酒店”,这对他们来说似乎更有意义,他们坚持以一种更适合圣物的敬意来提我的包。GBU世界播


An hour-and-a-half later, we arrived at the Hilton. GBU世界播

一个半小时后,我们到达了希尔顿酒店。GBU世界播


There I said goodbye to my Praetorian guard and handed their leader a solitary 1 note — the closest I had to the dollars they demanded — before asking the receptionist to draw a map of where the main aid organisations were. GBU世界播

在那里,我告别了我的禁卫军,递给他们的领导人一张单独的1 GB纸币-这是我最接近他们要求的美元-然后请接待员画一张主要援助组织所在的地图。GBU世界播


Leaving my bag with the bell-boy I ventured back out onto the street where I was approached by two young men sitting on a wall. GBU世界播

我把包和行李员放在一起,冒险回到街上,在那里,坐在墙上的两个年轻人走近我。GBU世界播


‘Mister, can we help you?’ one asked in accented English. GBU世界播

先生,有什么可以帮您的吗?其中一人用带口音的英语问道。GBU世界播


They offered to take me to the closest address on my map, a small compound in a narrow street. GBU世界播

他们主动提出带我去地图上最近的地址,一条狭窄街道上的一个小院落。GBU世界播


Inside the gate was a truck and I told the person loading it I was there to help. GBU世界播

大门里有一辆卡车,我告诉装载它的人我是来帮忙的。GBU世界播


He found it difficult to disguise his irritation and clearly had no use for someone skilless such as me. GBU世界播

他发现很难掩饰他的恼怒,显然对像我这样不熟练的人没有用处。GBU世界播


The reaction was the same at every agency after that — impatient dismissal from overworked staff. GBU世界播

在那之后,每个机构的反应都是一样的-工作过度的员工不耐烦地解雇。GBU世界播


They could not have been clearer — you are no use to us, however noble your intent. GBU世界播

他们再清楚不过了--无论你的意图多么高尚,你对我们都毫无用处。GBU世界播


Back at the hotel, I slumped into a chair on the terrace. I’d been in Ethiopia for only 12 hours and I had already been given a brutal lesson — sometimes you can’t make a thing happen by wanting it to. GBU世界播

回到旅馆后,我瘫坐在露台上的一张椅子上。我在埃塞俄比亚只待了12个小时,就已经上了一堂残酷的课--有时候你不可能想要让一件事成为现实。GBU世界播


It had simply not occurred to me that the aid agencies’ demand for schoolboys like me was likely to be non-existent — and my momentous stupidity had left me with no alternative plan. GBU世界播

我根本没有想到,援助机构对像我这样的男生的需求很可能是不存在的-而且我的重大愚蠢让我别无选择。GBU世界播


What would I do now? Where would I sleep? I had next to nothing in my wallet except a gold American Express card crying ‘thief’ and 20 birr, after I had paid my guides for their trouble. GBU世界播

我现在该怎么办呢?我在哪里睡觉呢?我的钱包里几乎什么也没有,除了一张写着“小偷”的美国运通金卡和20比尔,在我付钱给我的导游后,他们给了我麻烦。GBU世界播


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LORD OATES:‘By the time you read this I will be in Addis Ababa and heading for the famine camps,’ it started, explaining that I wanted to ‘save the dying’ GBU世界播

奥茨勋爵:“当你读到这篇文章的时候,我已经在亚的斯亚贝巴,正在前往饥荒营地的路上。”开场白解释说,我想“拯救垂死的人”GBU世界播


That night I tried to shelter under a bridge but I was terrified by the noises in the darkness around me. GBU世界播

那天晚上,我试图躲在一座桥下,但我被周围黑暗中的噪音吓坏了。GBU世界播


In the far distance I heard what sounded like shots, not unlikely in an Ethiopia run by a Marxist military leadership. GBU世界播

在很远的地方,我听到了像是枪声,在一个由马克思主义军事领导人统治的埃塞俄比亚,这并不是不可能。GBU世界播


For the first time since stepping off the plane I cried — quiet tears flowing down my cheeks. GBU世界播

走下飞机后,我第一次哭了--静静的泪水顺着我的脸颊流了下来。GBU世界播


‘Please help me,’ I whispered but eventually I pulled myself together. I returned to the Hilton and checked in using my father’s American Express card. GBU世界播

“请帮帮我,”我低声说,但最终还是振作起来。我回到希尔顿酒店,用父亲的美国运通卡办理入住手续。GBU世界播


Although my room was clean and functional, sleep did not come until the early hours. GBU世界播

虽然我的房间干净实用,但是直到凌晨才睡觉。GBU世界播


I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and feeling overwhelmed by guilt and loss as I wondered what my family would be doing at that moment. GBU世界播

我躺在床上,盯着天花板,内疚和失落让我不知所措,我想知道那时我的家人会做什么。GBU世界播


Somehow the next morning I made it to the lobby and greeted the concierge with false brightness — my life had taught me to be good at that — as I asked him to order me a taxi to the British Consulate. GBU世界播

第二天早上,不知何故,我赶到了大堂,用虚假的光明迎接了礼宾-我的生活教会了我要善于做到这一点-我让他帮我叫了一辆出租车去英国领事馆。GBU世界播


I thought they might know of an Anglican community doing aid work but I became unnerved when an official began asking questions about whether I was registered as a British national. GBU世界播

我以为他们可能知道英国国教社区在做援助工作,但当一名官员开始询问我是否登记为英国国民时,我变得紧张起来。GBU世界播


Worried he might have been alerted to my runaway status, I left abruptly. GBU世界播

我担心他可能已经注意到我的逃跑状态,就突然离开了。GBU世界播


All my fear, self-pity and anger came together as I walked on. A childish rage of frustration and failure pricked my eyes with tears. GBU世界播

当我继续往前走时,我所有的恐惧、自怜和愤怒都汇聚在一起。一股孩子气的挫败和失败让我泪流满面。GBU世界播


Back at the hotel I walked to the reception desk, forlorn and defeated, and picked up my room key. GBU世界播

回到旅馆后,我孤零零地走到接待处,拿起房间钥匙。GBU世界播


The energy and determination of that one-last-chance morning were gone. I was a boy with nowhere to go, no one to turn to. GBU世界播

那个最后机会的早晨的精力和决心都消失了。我是一个无处可去的男孩,没有人可以求助。GBU世界播


If only I had realised a call to my parents would have rescued me from the mess I had made. GBU世界播

如果我当时意识到给父母打个电话就能把我从混乱中解救出来就好了。GBU世界播


There would have been no anger, just a dam-burst of relief, but I was a 15-year-old boy who knew nothing of what it meant to be a parent, had no conception of the love invested in me. GBU世界播

不会有愤怒,只会有一种解脱,但我是一个15岁的男孩,不知道为人父母意味着什么,也不知道投入到我身上的爱的概念。GBU世界播


If I had, I would not even have contemplated what I was about to do. GBU世界播

如果我有,我甚至不会考虑我将要做的事情。GBU世界播


In reality, this Ethiopian misadventure was the least of my problems. GBU世界播

事实上,埃塞俄比亚的这场不幸是我最小的问题。GBU世界播


Behind my desire to find salvation in helping others there were far darker troubles. GBU世界播

在我渴望在帮助他人中找到救赎的背后,隐藏着更黑暗的麻烦。GBU世界播


And one above all that I could not voice to myself, even in the most silent of nights. GBU世界播

最重要的是,即使在最寂静的夜晚,我也不能自言自语。GBU世界播


As the elevator reached my floor, it was starkly clear to me what I must do. I saw that it was no longer a matter of choice. GBU世界播

当电梯到达我的楼层时,我清楚地知道我必须做什么。我发现这不再是一个选择的问题。GBU世界播


The realisation gave me a brief thrill of terror. So it was going to come to an end. GBU世界播

意识到这一点让我感到短暂的恐惧。所以它就要结束了。GBU世界播


My room was on the fourth floor. Looking down from the balcony, I realised the roofs shading the carports below might break my fall. GBU世界播

我的房间在四楼。从阳台往下看,我意识到下面遮蔽车库的屋顶可能会打断我的跌倒。GBU世界播


I had a vision of bouncing and then falling again to the hot, hard ground, still alive but with my limbs broken and useless. GBU世界播

我梦见自己蹦蹦跳跳,然后又跌落到炎热坚硬的地面上,虽然还活着,但四肢断了,毫无用处。GBU世界播


All of my failures consolidated in one final fiasco. GBU世界播

我所有的失败都归结为一场最后的惨败。GBU世界播


I would have to find somewhere higher to fall from. GBU世界播

我得找个更高的地方摔下来。GBU世界播


I made my way up to the roof where I judged the height, speed and finality to be right, then returned to my room to write a mournful farewell letter to my family on the Hilton’s headed notepaper. GBU世界播

我走到屋顶,在那里我判断高度、速度和完成度是正确的,然后回到我的房间,在希尔顿酒店的抬头信纸上给我的家人写了一封悲伤的告别信。GBU世界播


Tears welled as I addressed the envelope with all of their names. Then I took up another sheet of paper to write to Will. GBU世界播

当我写上写有他们所有名字的信封时,眼泪夺眶而出。然后我拿起另一张纸给威尔写信。GBU世界播


But I found I couldn’t write another letter. So instead I simply wrote ‘I’m sorry’ and then, with boldness and relief, ‘I love you with all my heart and soul.’ I marked the envelope ‘Strictly Private and Confidential.’ GBU世界播

但是我发现我再也写不出一封信了。因此,我只是简单地写下“对不起”,然后大胆而宽慰地说,“我全心全意地爱你。”我在信封上注明“严格保密”。GBU世界播


And then I decided I could not go without hearing Will’s voice one last time. GBU世界播

然后我决定最后一次听到威尔的声音我不能走。GBU世界播


When I dialled the hotel operator, there were no international lines available so I lay on the bed and waited for the call to say that one had become free. GBU世界播

当我拨打酒店接线员的电话时,没有可用的国际线路,所以我躺在床上,等待电话说有一条线路是免费的。GBU世界播


It was clear to me that I was about to do something terrible. I had tried every ruse to dodge it — even running all this way across the world — but there was no dodging it any more. GBU世界播

我很清楚我即将做一件可怕的事。我试过所有的诡计来躲避它--甚至跑了大老远的世界--但是我再也不能躲避它了。GBU世界播


I lay there, tense with waiting. Waiting for the call, waiting for the end. GBU世界播

我躺在那里,紧张地等待着。等待着电话,等待着结束。GBU世界播


Instead there came a knock. I opened the door to find a sandy-haired man in his mid-30s. GBU世界播

相反,传来了敲门声。我打开门,发现一个35岁左右的沙发男子。GBU世界播


‘Jonny?’ he said and I tried to close the door. GBU世界播

“乔尼?”他说,我试着把门关上。GBU世界播


Without aggression, he firmly placed his foot in the way. GBU世界播

他毫不咄咄逼人,坚定地把脚放在路上。GBU世界播


‘Jonny, my name is Charles Sherlock. I think I can help you. Can we have a chat and then if you tell me to go away, I will. I promise.’ GBU世界播

强尼,我叫查尔斯·夏洛克。我想我可以帮你。我们能聊聊吗?如果你叫我走开,我会的。我保证。“。GBU世界播


It was the first time someone had spoken my name in days, and I felt a mixture of fear and relief, but I said nothing. GBU世界播

这是几天来第一次有人叫我的名字,我既害怕又松了一口气,但我什么也没说。GBU世界播


I just walked back into the room, resigned, defeated. GBU世界播

我只是走回房间,听天由命,失败了。GBU世界播


Charles glanced at the sealed letters on the desk, but his focus flitted rapidly back to me as he explained that he was an Anglican priest and that my parents had asked him to find me. GBU世界播

查尔斯瞥了一眼桌子上密封的信件,但他的注意力很快又回到了我身上,因为他解释说,他是一名圣公会牧师,我父母让他来找我。GBU世界播


I later learned he had persuaded the immigration officers at the airport to open their records. GBU世界播

后来我了解到,他曾说服机场的移民局官员开放他们的记录。GBU世界播


Making such demands of the officialdom was a risky thing to do but they let him search through the mountains of cards until he’d managed to locate mine with the crucial information that I was at the Hilton. GBU世界播

向官场提出这样的要求是一件冒险的事情,但他们让他在堆积如山的纸牌中搜索,直到他设法用我在希尔顿酒店的关键信息找到我的位置。GBU世界播


By now it was early evening and at Charles’s suggestion we moved downstairs to the hotel restaurant. GBU世界播

此时已是傍晚时分,在查尔斯的建议下,我们下楼去了旅馆的餐厅。GBU世界播


Cautiously winning my confidence over bowls of pasta, he suggested I might want to stay at the Anglican chaplaincy for a while and observe their work with children orphaned by the famine and the civil war. GBU世界播

他小心翼翼地在一碗碗意大利面上赢得了我的信心,他建议我可能想在圣公会牧师那里呆一段时间,观察他们对因饥荒和内战而成为孤儿的儿童所做的工作。GBU世界播


He didn’t push me to decide, suggesting instead that he would pick me up in the morning if that was what I wanted to do. He departed with these words: GBU世界播

他没有催促我做决定,而是建议如果我想做的话他会在早上来接我。他临走时说了这句话:GBU世界播


‘Jonny, your life is yours, not anyone else’s. But I want you to think about the inconsolable loss your mum and dad and your brothers and sister would feel if you were gone, and I want you to realise that is because you are a far more precious person than you are prepared to believe right now.’ GBU世界播

“乔尼,你的生命是你的,不是别人的。但我想让你想想,如果你走了,你的父母、兄弟姐妹会有多么痛心的损失,我想让你意识到,这是因为你是一个比你现在准备好相信的更珍贵的人。”GBU世界播


The next day I took Charles up on his offer, but the one condition was I had to phone my parents. My stomach churned with fear at what I was going to say to them. GBU世界播

第二天,我接受了查尔斯的提议,但有一个条件是我必须给我父母打电话。我要对他们说的话吓得我胃里翻腾起来。GBU世界播


Eventually I picked up the receiver and then their voices were travelling across the void between us: more than 4,000 miles of telephone cable, crackling and echoing with love. GBU世界播

最后,我拿起听筒,然后他们的声音传遍了我们之间的空虚:4000多英里的电话线,嘎嘎作响,回荡着爱的声音。GBU世界播


‘We want you home,’ they said. ‘But it’s fine to stay there while you work things out. GBU世界播

他们说,我们希望你回家。不过,在你解决问题的时候呆在那里没问题。GBU世界播


We just ask that you listen to Father Charles and follow his guidance.’ GBU世界播

我们只要求您听从查尔斯神父的话,听从他的指导。GBU世界播


Although I stayed at the chaplaincy for several more weeks, I spent only a short time with Charles. GBU世界播

虽然我在牧师那里多呆了几个星期,但我只和查尔斯呆了很短的时间。GBU世界播


He flew back to England on annual leave two days after my arrival and told me: ‘Go back home and get some qualifications. GBU世界播

在我到达两天后,他飞回英国休年假,告诉我:‘回家去拿一些资格证书吧。’GBU世界播


In a year’s time, or less, the TV cameras will have forgotten about Africa. It’s important that you don’t.’ GBU世界播

在一年或更短的时间内,电视摄像机将会忘记非洲。重要的是你不能这么做。GBU世界播


A month later I returned to finish my schooling at Marlborough, but I always yearned to go back to Africa. GBU世界播

一个月后,我回到马尔伯勒完成学业,但我一直渴望回到非洲。GBU世界播


After my A-levels I spent a year in Zimbabwe, where I somehow became deputy headmaster of a secondary school, aged 18. GBU世界播

在我的A-level考试结束后,我在津巴布韦呆了一年,在那里我以某种方式成为了一所中学的副校长,当时我18岁。GBU世界播


Returning to study at Exeter University, in 1999 I went back to Africa, this time as an adviser to Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi, the Zulu leader, in South Africa’s exciting post-apartheid era. GBU世界播

1999年,我回到埃克塞特大学(Exeter University)学习,回到非洲,这一次是在南非令人兴奋的后种族隔离时代,担任祖鲁领导人曼戈苏苏·布特莱齐亲王(Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi)的顾问。GBU世界播


My next political master was Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg — I became his Downing Street chief of staff when the Conservative-Lib Dem Coalition Government won power in 2010. GBU世界播

我的下一位政治导师是自由民主党领袖尼克·克莱格(Nick Clegg)-2010年保守党-自由民主党联合政府掌权时,我成为他在唐宁街的幕僚长。GBU世界播


In 2013, on that official trip with Nick Clegg, I met up again with Charles. GBU世界播

2013年,在与尼克·克莱格(Nick Clegg)的那次正式旅行中,我再次与查尔斯会面。GBU世界播


We went to church together in Addis and recalled how he had saved my life the last time we met there 28 years before. GBU世界播

我们一起去了亚的斯亚贝巴的教堂,回忆起28年前我们最后一次在那里相遇时,他是如何拯救了我的生命。GBU世界播


I had taken to heart the advice he gave me all those years before about not forgetting Africa: while in Downing Street, one of our proudest achievements was passing the International Development Bill, which committed Britain to spending 0.7 per cent of gross national income on supporting the poorest people on earth. Some of that money goes to Ethiopia. GBU世界播

我牢记他多年前给我的关于不要忘记非洲的建议:在唐宁街时,我们最引以为豪的成就之一是通过了“国际开发法案”(International Development Bill),该法案承诺英国将拿出国民总收入的0.7%来支持地球上最贫穷的人。其中一些钱流向了埃塞俄比亚。GBU世界播


Today I am a life peer and in my personal life I have found fulfilment too, this June marking the 14th anniversary of my civil partnership with my husband David. GBU世界播

今天,我是生活中的同龄人,在我的个人生活中,我也找到了成就感,今年6月,我与丈夫大卫建立了民事伙伴关系14周年。GBU世界播


There was a time when I would have thought such happiness impossible and I will always remain indebted to Charles Sherlock for coming to the rescue of the teenage me — the boy who thought he was running away to save the world, but was really running from himself. GBU世界播

曾经有一段时间,我认为这样的幸福是不可能的,我将永远感谢查尔斯·夏洛克(Charles Sherlock)来拯救十几岁的我-那个以为自己是为了拯救世界而逃跑的男孩,但实际上是在逃避自己。GBU世界播


Adapted from I Never Promised You A Rose Garden by Jonny Oates, published by Biteback on October 21 at 20. :copyright: Jonny Oates 2020. To order a copy for 17.60 (offer valid until October 22), go to mailshop. co.uk/books or call 020 3308 9193. Free UK delivery on orders over 15. GBU世界播

改编自Jonny Oates的“我从未答应过你一个玫瑰园”,Biteback于10月21日在GB 20出版。:copyright:Jonny Oates 2020。要订购一份17.60 GB(优惠有效期至10月22日),请前往邮局。Co.uk/book或致电02033089193。超过15 GB的订单可免费在英国送货。GBU世界播

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