最后一根稻草是什么,让你离开了和一个隐秘的自恋者的关系? Nikki Reicha 的回答火了

2020-11-19 18:21

What was the final straw, that made you leave your relationship with a covert narcissist? ZdV世界播

最后一根稻草是什么,让你离开了和一个隐秘的自恋者的关系?ZdV世界播


Answered by: Nikki Reicha,Was married to a covert narcissist for a decade. ZdV世界播

回答:妮基·瑞查(Nikki Reicha),嫁给了一个隐秘的自恋者十年ZdV世界播


One day, I decided to not fight. Instead I would let him be who he needed to be. I was tired of the constant drama over the same damn things. He would bring the same topic up over & over (with silent treatments in between) until things went his way. ZdV世界播

有一天,我决定不再打架。相反,我会让他成为他需要成为的人。我厌倦了在同一件该死的事情上不断上演的闹剧。他会一遍又一遍地提出同样的话题(其间保持沉默),直到事情按他的方式发展。ZdV世界播


I’m laid back. I don’t mind going with the flow so I didn’t mind doing most things how he wanted. It just didn’t matter to me. ZdV世界播

我懒洋洋的。我不介意随波逐流,所以我不介意按他的要求做大多数事情。这对我来说无关紧要。ZdV世界播


He’d always complain How boring that was. Peace & harmony = boring? Really? ZdV世界播

他总是抱怨那有多无聊。和平与和谐=无聊?真的?ZdV世界播


Naturally he had to liven things up… ..find something to complain about. There had to be something he hadn’t completely taken control of…… ..EUREKA!!! ZdV世界播

当然,他不得不让事情变得活泼起来,…。..找点什么可以抱怨的。一定有什么东西他还没有完全控制……。..尤里卡!ZdV世界播


Money. (keeping in mind we each made close to 100k and Had little to no debt) He began checking the accounts first thing in the morning at 0500 and 5–10 throughout the day and then again at bedtime. If he got up in the middle of the night, you better believe he was on the iPad checking our accounts. ZdV世界播

钱。(请记住,我们每个人都赚了近10万英镑,几乎没有债务)他开始在早上5点和5点10分检查账目,全天都是这样,然后在睡觉时间又开始检查。如果他半夜起床,你最好相信他在用iPad查看我们的账户。ZdV世界播


We’d agree on spending X amount for replacing a faucet. I’d send pictures of the items needed & the prices of each, while shopping. Then the receipt before I even left the parking lot. It was right at or under the amount which he was pleased about … ..until he wasn’t. Hed get home. Pissed off and giving the silent treatment… .seemingly out of nowhere. Then he’d TEXT from the other room that I had spent to much. ZdV世界播

我们同意花X美元更换水龙头。我会在购物时发送所需物品的图片和每件物品的价格。然后我还没离开停车场就拿到了收据。这正好等于或低于他对…满意的数额。..直到他不在了。他回家了。被激怒了,给了…沉默的待遇。.似乎不知从哪里冒出来的.。然后他会在另一个房间发短信说我花了很多钱。ZdV世界播


What in the actual fuck?! ZdV世界播

他妈的到底怎么回事?!ZdV世界播


It had escalated to the point that getting his approval & Making him part of the process was not enough. he would still beat that same poor dead horse. ZdV世界播

这件事已经升级到只得到他的批准&仅仅让他参与这一过程是不够的。他还是会打那匹可怜的死马。ZdV世界播


It ended up being like this with everything I bought. His controlling ways had escalated to the point that I couldn’t even buy groceries right. ZdV世界播

结果我买的东西都变成这样了。他的控制方式已经升级到我甚至不能正确购买食品杂货的地步。ZdV世界播


I went from being able to do everything right to not being able to do anything right. It was exhausting. ZdV世界播

我从什么事都能做对,到现在什么事都做不对。这让人精疲力尽。ZdV世界播


After a couponing trip to target (again he agreed to x amount, agreed to the list, etc) he ends up angry (as usual) and suggests we split bank accounts. ZdV世界播

在一次去塔吉特的优惠券之旅后(他再次同意了x金额,同意了名单等),他最终(像往常一样)生气了,并建议我们拆分银行账户。ZdV世界播


I said, “you talked so much trash about my ex and I having separate accounts and made it clear that’s not how couples behave. So. If you want to split our money, that’s the beginning of the end. We will split everything” ZdV世界播

我说:“你说了那么多关于我和我前夫有独立账户的废话,并明确表示这不是情侣们的行为方式。”所以。如果你想平分我们的钱,那就是末日的开始。我们会平分一切。“。ZdV世界播


He dropped it. ZdV世界播

他把它掉了。ZdV世界播


Until A week later when I went over by $30 on groceries, because god forbid the kids and I have things we enjoy that isn’t husband approved. ZdV世界播

直到一周后,我花了30美元买杂货,因为上帝不允许我和孩子们享受丈夫不认可的东西。ZdV世界播


This was strike 2. I said “look, if that’s what you want to do. Cool. But it’s the beginning of the end for us. We will split everything. If you bring it up again, I’ll do it. No problem” ZdV世界播

这是第二次罢工,我说“听着,如果这就是你想做的。凉爽的。但对我们来说,这是末日的开始。我们会平分所有东西。如果你再提这件事,我就做。没问题。“。ZdV世界播


3 weeks later. He brought it up again. Strike three. I was done fighting. I was ready to let him be who he needed to be. ZdV世界播

3周后。他又提起了这件事。三振出局。我不想再战斗了。我已经准备好让他成为他需要成为的人。ZdV世界播


I opened up my own account. Changed the direct deposit. Took over the Bill’s that were in my name (car insurance, home alarm, electric, etc and whatever other bill I had that was mine) ZdV世界播

我开了自己的账户。更改了直接存款。接手了我名下的账单(汽车保险、家庭报警器、电器等,以及我名下的任何其他账单)。ZdV世界播


He realized what was happening. Naturally being a grown man and loving husband he ignores me. ZdV世界播

他意识到发生了什么。当然,作为一个成熟的男人和慈爱的丈夫,他忽视了我。ZdV世界播


I let him. ZdV世界播

我让他这么做的。ZdV世界播


After a couple days … .still not talking he starts sleeping in the guest room. ZdV世界播

几天后,…。.他还是不说话,就开始睡在客房里。ZdV世界播


I let him. ZdV世界播

我让他这么做的。ZdV世界播


Couple more days pass hes still ignoring me and moves his clothes and belongings into the guest room. ZdV世界播

几天过去了,他还是不理我,把衣服和随身物品搬到了客房里。ZdV世界播


I let him. ZdV世界播

我让他这么做的。ZdV世界播


Now, usually I would stop all this nonsense on day one. I felt all this was ridiculous, just a waste of time. However, by this time I was so sick of the constant cloud of negativity, the constant childish silent treatment, the constant unnecessary dramatic nonsense that he was always creating that I had a healthy level of “don’t give a shit” supporting me. ZdV世界播

现在,通常我会在第一天就停止这些胡言乱语。我觉得这一切都很荒谬,简直是浪费时间。然而,到了这个时候,我已经厌倦了持续不断的消极阴云,持续的孩子气的沉默,持续不断的不必要的戏剧性胡言乱语,他总是在制造不必要的戏剧性胡言乱语,以至于我有一种健康的“不要给我狗屎”的支持。ZdV世界播


Besides. I wanted to see how far his tantrum and pride would take him). ZdV世界播

再说了。我想看看他的脾气和自尊心会把他带到什么程度。ZdV世界播


Another week passed (still had not said or text a word to me) when after work one day he lets me know he’s moving out and asks if that’s ok. ZdV世界播

又一个星期过去了(仍然没有和我说一句话,也没有给我发一条短信),有一天下班后,他告诉我他要搬出去了,问我这样行不行。ZdV世界播


I replied, “I think it’s a good idea” ZdV世界播

我回答说:“我觉得这是个好主意。”ZdV世界播


He is speechless. Tears start flowing. He walks out. He wasn’t expecting me to agree…… ZdV世界播

他说不出话来。泪水开始流淌。他走了出去。他没想到我会同意……。ZdV世界播


He moves a few days later. He wakes me from a nap. He’s crying and apologizing for all his wrong doings…… I heard this sobbing apologetic mess from him once before. He fooled me once… ..shame on him. ZdV世界播

几天后他搬家了。他把我从午睡中叫醒。他哭着为他所有的错误行为道歉……。我以前听过一次他哭诉道歉的烂摊子。他骗过我一次,…。..他真可耻。ZdV世界播


I felt disgusted that he put us through all of that because he had to find something “wrong” to focus on and to control. He just refused to be happy. ZdV世界播

我对他让我们经历这一切感到厌恶,因为他必须找到一些“错误的”东西来专注和控制。他就是拒绝快乐。ZdV世界播


He moved himself and daughter into an apartment leaving me & my two sons in the house. Nice guy right? Left me to pay the mortgage & all the household bills. ZdV世界播

他把自己和女儿搬到了一套公寓里,把我和我的两个儿子留在了房子里。好人,对吧?留下我来支付抵押贷款和所有的家庭账单。ZdV世界播


Even when i was no longer able to work, and my pay was reduced by half… . I never asked him for help. He would offer, but I knew the cost of accepting anything from him. It was not worth it. I managed. ZdV世界播

即使我不能再工作了,我的工资也减少了一半…。。我从来没有向他求助过。他会主动提出,但我知道接受他的任何东西的代价。这不值得。我设法做到了。ZdV世界播


Some months after he moved, he & I went for a walk. with an obnoxious sly smile, he casually mentions… . he didn’t think I could make it on my own, with all those bills, without him. He thought he could just wait me out, that I would need his help. He never planned for moving to be permanent. Just to teach me a lesson. ZdV世界播

他搬家几个月后,我和他出去散步。带着令人讨厌的狡猾的微笑,他不经意地提到了…。。他认为没有他,我一个人带着那么多账单是做不到的。他以为他可以等我出来,我会需要他的帮助。他从未想过要永久搬家。只是为了给我上一课。ZdV世界播


He did all this to his loyal, faithful wife, step sons & daughter who were happy & thriving to show the world how valuable he was and how I couldn’t make it without him. ZdV世界播

他对他忠诚、忠诚的妻子、继子和女儿做了这一切,他们幸福快乐,欣欣向荣,向世界展示了他的价值,以及如果没有他,我是如何无法成功的。ZdV世界播


You can imagine his shock when he realized he was mistaken. ZdV世界播

你可以想象当他意识到自己错了时他的震惊。ZdV世界播


That was that. i stayed in the house for 15 months and paid everything on my own barely making it. Counting pennies. He lived in an apartment his household bills were 1/2 of mine and he now made twice as much. ZdV世界播

就是这样。我在房子里住了15个月,所有的钱都是我自己付的,勉强过得去。数着便士。他住在一套公寓里,他的家庭账单是我的一半,现在他赚的钱是我的两倍。ZdV世界播


I decided to move out of state which set him off. How dare I leave and live my own life! ZdV世界播

我决定搬出这个州,这激怒了他。我怎么敢离开去过我自己的生活!ZdV世界播


Naturally, because he’s an entitle thief with no conscience he demanded we split the proceeds from the sell of our house 50/50. He took $30,000 that I paid due to a legal loophole. In hindsight I think that’s a small price to pay to never see him again. ZdV世界播

当然,因为他是一个没有良心的名副其实的小偷,他要求我们平分卖房所得的钱,对半分。他拿了我因为法律漏洞而付的3万美元。事后看来,我认为再也见不到他只是一个很小的代价。ZdV世界播


The end. ZdV世界播

结束了。ZdV世界播


3 years later I discovered the word narcissist and well… .here we are. ZdV世界播

3年后,我发现了自恋者和Well…这个词。.我们到了.ZdV世界播

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