对于任何想要与某人达成和解的人来说,是什么让你走到了这一步,结果如何? Joshua Simpson 的回答火了

2020-10-30 00:22

For anyone who felt like they 'settled' with someone, what led you to that point, and how did it turn out? AKR世界播

对于任何想要与某人达成和解的人来说,是什么让你走到了这一步,结果如何?AKR世界播


Answered by: Joshua Simpson,Writer and Medical Student AKR世界播

回答者:约书亚·辛普森(Joshua Simpson),作家兼医科学生AKR世界播


This story comes from an older friend. It is one of the most impactful relationship stories I have ever heard. AKR世界播

这个故事出自一位年长的朋友之口。这是我听过的最有影响力的感情故事之一。AKR世界播


Why did you settle for your partner when you could have done better? AKR世界播

当你本可以做得更好的时候,为什么要满足于你的伴侣呢?AKR世界播


AKR世界播


“You’re 34 now Mike. Am I ever going to get my grandkids?” AKR世界播

“你现在34岁了,迈克。我还能得到我的孙子孙女吗?“。AKR世界播


I just nodded my head to mom. AKR世界播

我只是向妈妈点点头。AKR世界播


“No laugh? Does this mean you’re serious?” AKR世界播

“不笑吗?这是不是意味着你是认真的?“。AKR世界播


I laughed and finished up seeing mom. This time she was right. I sat in the car realising that I really do need to find a nice girl and start a family. AKR世界播

我笑了,最后见了妈妈。这一次她是对的。我坐在车里,意识到我真的需要找一个好女孩,组建一个家庭。AKR世界播


I was never really sure how I got to this point. Still on my own. Time seems to sneak up on you until it’s too close to ignore. AKR世界播

我从来没有真正确定我是怎么走到这一步的。还得靠我自己。时间似乎会悄悄靠近你,直到它离你太近而不容忽视。AKR世界播


I have always been a sensible guy. I threw myself into work. It paid off with a stable and comfortable living. The problem with work is that it makes time go by too fast. The more you do, the more there is to do. This is how it went for me at least. AKR世界播

我一直是个通情达理的人。我全身心地投入到工作中。它得到了回报,过上了稳定舒适的生活。工作的问题是它让时间过得太快。你做的越多,你要做的事情就越多。至少对我来说是这样的。AKR世界播


Over the next week I asked the girl out at work. Sharon is her name. I knew she has always wanted to go out with me, constantly hinting while I played the nave, clueless guy. She was always too shy to be obvious and it never went anywhere. AKR世界播

在接下来的一周里,我约那个女孩出去工作。莎伦是她的名字。我知道她一直想和我约会,当我扮演一个天真的、毫无头绪的家伙时,她总是暗示我。她总是害羞得不显眼,这件事从来没有发生过。AKR世界播


Weeks turned to months and months to a year. Before I knew it, we were having dinner at the same little Italian joint where we first went; only this time it was to celebrate our first year anniversary. AKR世界播

几周变成了几个月,几个月变成了一年。不知不觉中,我们在我们第一次去的那家意大利小餐馆吃晚饭,只是这一次是为了庆祝我们的一周年纪念日。AKR世界播


A year became years and mom finally got those grandchildren she was after. Five years on we were happily married with 2 kids. Things were good. It was the typical family life. AKR世界播

一年一年过去了,妈妈终于得到了她想要的孙子孙女。五年过去了,我们幸福地结婚了,有两个孩子。一切都很好。这是典型的家庭生活。AKR世界播


One night I was going out with my friends. We were all the same age. Thirty nine the lot of us - teetering on the knife’s edge of our midlife crises. Who am I kidding, we were over the edge. Tony and I purchased two new Harleys the year before. For Matt, it was a 33 ft yacht. He was always specific of the size so it’s only fitting to give the detail. AKR世界播

一天晚上,我和朋友们出去玩。我们都是同龄的。我们中的39个人-在中年危机中摇摇欲坠。我在骗谁呢,我们已经到了悬崖边上了。托尼和我在前一年买了两辆新的哈雷。对于马特来说,这是一艘33英尺长的游艇。他总是对尺码很具体,所以给出细节再合适不过了。AKR世界播


We usually took our partners with us when we went out. Matt and Roger were divorced, so took along their new dates. This changed frequently over the years. But the girls were always easy on the eye. Good looking and in good shape. Tony was the life-long eligible bachelor and showed up too with very good looking women. AKR世界播

我们外出时通常带着我们的伙伴。马特和罗杰离婚了,所以带上了新的约会对象。多年来,这种情况经常发生变化。但是女孩们总是很养眼。长得好看,身材也不错。托尼是终身合格的单身汉,也带着非常漂亮的女人出现。AKR世界播


Over the years I began to look at their dates with more and more envy. I had always taken care of myself while Sharon began to put on weight. Even when we first met, I always though of myself as “settling” for her. Time snuck up and I had to act. I always thought I could have done much better. AKR世界播

多年来,我开始越来越羡慕地看着他们的约会。当莎伦开始发胖时,我总是照顾好自己。甚至在我们第一次见面的时候,我总是认为我自己是“满足”于她的。时间悄悄流逝,我不得不采取行动。我一直以为我可以做得更好。AKR世界播


Every catch up seemed as though my opinion was confirmed. As the kids came, Sharon put on extra weight. She was also 42, while my friends’ partners were not even hitting 30. AKR世界播

每一次追赶似乎都证实了我的观点。随着孩子们的到来,莎伦的体重增加了。她也是42岁,而我朋友的伴侣还不到30岁。AKR世界播


Don’t get me wrong, I still loved her and would never do anything to hurt her. I just believed that I had settled when I could have done much better. It’s not a noble thought, but it’s what I thought. After five years, the honeymoon period was well and truly over. AKR世界播

别误会我的意思,我仍然爱着她,永远不会做任何伤害她的事。我只是相信当我本可以做得更好的时候,我已经安顿下来了。这不是什么高尚的想法,但我是这么想的。五年后,蜜月期确实结束了。AKR世界播


A few months on, we were all together at our usual bar, just us guys. I waved off Tony and Ray as they took the first two taxis. There was a light drizzle so I walked over to the covered porch of the bistro with Matt. I gave a smile and shook my head with admiration as I looked at Matt. AKR世界播

几个月过去了,我们都在我们惯常的酒吧里,就我们两个人。当托尼和雷乘坐头两辆出租车时,我向他们挥手告别。下着小雨,所以我和马特走到小酒馆的有盖门廊。当我看着马特时,我笑了笑,钦佩地摇了摇头。AKR世界播


He was perched against the wall, one foot placed back on it while taking out a cigarette. AKR世界播

他靠着墙坐着,一只脚放在墙上,同时拿出一支烟。AKR世界播


“Look at that James Dean son of a bitch.” AKR世界播

“看看那个狗娘养的詹姆斯·迪恩”AKR世界播


I was always impressed how he still seemed to look as cool at 39 as we were back in the day. AKR世界播

我总是印象深刻的是,他在39岁的时候看起来仍然和我们当年一样酷。AKR世界播


I was just about to give him another smart ass don’t smoke joke as he took a drag of his cigarette. But he got in first. AKR世界播

我正要给他另一个聪明的笑话“别抽烟”,因为他吸了一口烟。但他是第一个进去的。AKR世界播


“You’re lucky, you know, Mike. To have Sharon.” AKR世界播

“你很幸运,你知道的,迈克。拥有莎伦。“。AKR世界播


“She is always happy and gets on well with everyone. Not like our partners.” AKR世界播

“她总是很快乐,和每个人都相处得很好。不像我们的合作伙伴。“。AKR世界播


“No. With Sharon, everything's easy. As for Tony and I, keeping our partners happy is like running the gauntlet.” AKR世界播

“没有。和莎伦在一起,一切都很容易。对于托尼和我来说,让我们的合作伙伴开心就像是在挑战。“。AKR世界播


The days went on, nothing changed straight away. But, I started paying more attention. AKR世界播

日子一天天过去,一下子没有什么变化。但是,我开始更加注意了。AKR世界播


When I come home from work each day, she is there happy to see me with a smile, still five years on. AKR世界播

我每天下班回家,她都很高兴看到我笑着,五年过去了。AKR世界播


When we go out with our friends, it’s always pleasant. I’m not walking on egg shells or on the receiving end of a passive aggressive play like the other guys with their partners. AKR世界播

当我们和朋友出去的时候,总是很愉快的。我不会像其他人和他们的搭档那样在蛋壳上行走,也不会像其他人那样站在被动攻击性比赛的接收端。AKR世界播


When I cancel our plans or holidays for work, she gives me a hug and says she understands. AKR世界播

当我取消我们的工作计划或假期时,她会给我一个拥抱,说她理解。AKR世界播


When meeting new people, she makes the experience so much better. She is kind and caring. People see that, they are drawn to her nature. AKR世界播

当遇到新朋友时,她会让体验变得更好。她很善良,很有同情心。人们看到了这一点,就被她的天性所吸引。AKR世界播


When my friends’ partners are cutting them down in front of everyone, she is building me up. Not once, never has she said a bad word about me openly. Heck, even when she could and even should have. AKR世界播

当我朋友的伴侣在所有人面前砍倒他们的时候,她是在树立我的形象。一次也没有,她从来没有公开说过我的坏话。见鬼,即使她可以,甚至应该这么做。AKR世界播


When I’m down, she has always picked me up. Just listening. Being there when I needed. AKR世界播

当我情绪低落时,她总是把我扶起来。只是在听。在我需要的时候陪在我身边。AKR世界播


When we fight, never once has she held it against me or thrown it up in my face. Instead, I get genuine forgiveness. AKR世界播

我们吵架的时候,她从来没有拿它对着我或者当着我的面扔过一次。相反,我得到了真诚的宽恕。AKR世界播


Everything I do, she is as grateful after all these years as when we first met. Even when I rarely reciprocate. AKR世界播

我做的每一件事,她都像我们第一次见面时一样感激我这么多年了。即使在我很少回报的时候。AKR世界播


So, why did my partner settle for me when they could have done better? AKR世界播

那么,为什么我的合伙人在他们本可以做得更好的时候满足于我呢?AKR世界播


I don’t know. AKR世界播

我不知道。AKR世界播


What I do know is to never take her for granted again. AKR世界播

我知道的是永远不要再把她当成理所当然的了。AKR世界播


Update AKR世界播

更新。AKR世界播


Despite creating confusion, I opted to use first person to enrich and personify the story a little better. Hearing this story first hand was both inspiring and humbling. As such, I focused on keeping everything as is to the detriment of answering the question completely. AKR世界播

尽管造成了混乱,我还是选择了使用第一人称来更好地丰富和人格化这个故事。亲耳听到这个故事,既鼓舞人心,又令人谦卑。因此,我专注于让一切保持原样,这不利于完全回答这个问题。AKR世界播


Mike and Sharon are both still happily married! AKR世界播

迈克和莎伦的婚姻仍然很幸福!AKR世界播


Realise what you have before It’s gone. Hindsight isn’t as forgiving as foresight. AKR世界播

在失去之前意识到你所拥有的。事后诸葛亮不如先见之明那么宽容。AKR世界播


If you have found this helpful, follow me to read more about improving every aspect of your life. I sincerely thank you for taking the time to read this. AKR世界播

如果你觉得这对你有帮助,那就跟着我阅读更多关于改善你生活方方面面的内容吧。我衷心感谢您抽出时间阅读这篇文章。AKR世界播

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