尽管我不想帮助我的伴侣抚养他的女儿,但我如何与他协商建立一种健康的关系呢?我女儿现在二十岁了,我不想再抚养孩子了。我真的很爱我的伴侣,想和他白头到老。 Melanie Schlaginhaufen 的回答火了

2020-10-14 09:16

How do I negotiate a healthy relationship with my partner despite the fact that I don't want to help him raise his daughter? My daughter is now twenty and I am finished with raising kids. I do love my partner very much and want to grow old with him. vQx世界播

尽管我不想帮助我的伴侣抚养他的女儿,但我如何与他协商建立一种健康的关系呢?我女儿现在二十岁了,我不想再抚养孩子了。我真的很爱我的伴侣,想和他白头到老。vQx世界播


Answered by: Melanie Schlaginhaufen vQx世界播

回答者:梅勒妮·施拉金豪芬(Melanie Schlaginhaufen)vQx世界播


How do I negotiate a healthy relationship with my partner despite the fact that I don't want to help him raise his daughter? My daughter is now twenty and I am finished with raising kids. I do love my partner very much and want to grow old with him. vQx世界播

尽管我不想帮助我的伴侣抚养他的女儿,但我如何与他谈判建立一种健康的关系呢?我女儿现在二十岁了,我不想再抚养孩子了。我真的很爱我的伴侣,想和他白头到老。vQx世界播


When I was 21 years old I married a man ten years older than me, who had a 9 year old daughter. She was a spoiled only child and I honestly didn’t wish to be a mother. First few years we had her only two weeks each summer plus a long weekend during her Christmas holiday (we lived out of state). When I was 24 years old, my stepdaughter along with her mother (my husband’s ex) and the man her mom had married were in the crash on a small airplane he was piloting. Her mother and stepfather died in the crash but my stepdaughter, age 12, was found alive (it took 24 hours for the plane to be found as it crashed in a National Forest). I was the person who spent a month sitting with her at the hospital, and I gave up my job since she needed help for some months. She turned 13 in the hospital and then came home to live with us. She wanted to be with her maternal grandmother but she was unable to care for her. Long story shorter, don’t marry a man with a child if you are unable to love that child. I had to learn to love her. Life throws us curveballs and you could inherit that child! We had my stepdaughter until she was 16 then we did let her go live with her grandparents. Our marriage dissolved a couple of years later. Don’t force a man to choose between you and his child. Better to find another man! Just my own personal experience. As an aside my former stepdaughter and her family have been estranged for years, I’m now in my sixties and she reaches out to me occasionally and she has thanked me for the care I gave her as a teen. But those years of “you’re not my mother!” and the stress on my marriage were very tough. Few relationships can survive a daughter since females can be very manipulative as they get older!! vQx世界播

在我21岁的时候,我嫁给了一个比我大10岁的男人,他有一个9岁的女儿。她是个被宠坏的独生女,老实说,我不想当妈妈。最初的几年里,她每年夏天只有两个星期,外加圣诞节假期期间的一个长周末(我们住在州外)。当我24岁的时候,我的继女和她的母亲(我丈夫的前男友)以及她母亲嫁给的那个男人在他驾驶的一架小飞机上坠毁。她的母亲和继父在坠机中丧生,但我12岁的继女被发现还活着(飞机在国家森林坠毁,花了24小时才找到)。我是在医院陪她坐了一个月的人,我辞去了我的工作,因为她需要帮助几个月。她在医院里年满13岁,然后回家和我们住在一起。她想和她的外祖母在一起,但她无法照顾她。长话短说,如果你不能爱一个有孩子的男人,就不要嫁给那个男人。我必须学会爱她。生活抛给我们曲线球,你可以继承那个孩子!我们有我的继女,直到她16岁,然后我们让她去和她的祖父母住在一起。几年后,我们的婚姻破裂了。不要强迫男人在你和他的孩子之间做出选择。最好再找一个男人!这只是我个人的经历。顺便说一句,我以前的继女和她的家人已经疏远了很多年,我现在已经60多岁了,她偶尔会向我伸出援手,她感谢我在她十几岁时给予她的照顾。但是那些年的“你不是我妈妈!”我婚姻上的压力非常大。很少有关系能在女儿身上幸存下来,因为随着年龄的增长,女性可能会变得非常善于操控!!vQx世界播

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