2020-11-19 09:32

Loneliness: Different ways of dealing with being alone a7N世界播



Liz Grint says her family has had to find a new way of living after months of isolation a7N世界播


Millions might feel lonely in the lockdown, but every type of loneliness is individual. Here are five very different ways of living with loneliness. a7N世界播


A photograph of fish and chips was one way that Liz Grint tried, in a symbolic way, to tackle a sense of loneliness and separation. a7N世界播


She is a carer for her husband, Carl, who is 73 and has multiple health problems - and he has only been able to leave their home three times since March. a7N世界播


The couple, living near Norwich and married for 48 years, have reshaped their lives during the pandemic, with almost eight months of isolation so far. a7N世界播


"Everyday life is totally different now. a7N世界播


"People say it must be so tough on you - but I've got so used to doing it," says 68-year-old Liz. a7N世界播


Beating loneliness a7N世界播


Millions of people, young and old, are facing loneliness, isolation and separation during the lockdown. A BBC News project on TV, radio and online reveals some of their stories and how they are fighting back. a7N世界播


*Join the BBC's Beating Loneliness Facebook Group a7N世界播


*If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised, BBC Action Line has a list of organisations and charities offering advice and support a7N世界播


Carers UK has highlighted how carers have been so isolated during the lockdown and cut off from the respite they might badly need. a7N世界播


Liz is lonely for the life she is missing: seeing friends, going to church, meeting family, going to the shops. a7N世界播


But when she realised how much she was missing going to buy fish and chips, Liz asked friends to go for them and send back a picture. a7N世界播


"So they went down and bought fish and chips, sat on one of the benches and took a photograph of them when they had started eating," says Liz. They were having a treat by proxy. a7N世界播



Carl has only left home three times since March a7N世界播


She reads, knits and sews to pass the time, but can no longer stand looking at the news and some Zooms just make her feel even more lonely. a7N世界播


"We're just in a little bubble now," she says. a7N世界播


"I think we've got resigned to this now. This is what life is all about. a7N世界播


"In some ways, because of what we've had to do, we're more content - because there's no point wanting anything else. a7N世界播


"What really matters to me is my family, keeping them safe." a7N世界播



Elorm says she has the feeling of looking out and seeing other people enjoying themselves a7N世界播


"It feels like the whole world is moving - and you're not," says Elorm Fiavor, a young carer looking after her mother in Salford, describing how it feels to be 16 and lonely. a7N世界播

在索尔福德照顾母亲的年轻护理员埃洛姆·菲亚弗(Elorm Fiavor)在描述16岁时孤独的感觉时说:“感觉整个世界都在动,而你却没有。”a7N世界播

"It's like everything is just going on in my head. My situation is slow, and I'm looking outside and see other people my age and their lives are moving fast and they are having fun," says Elorm. a7N世界播


Because of her mother's sickle cell anaemia, and the need to shield her, Elorm has had stay inside, missing out on "that teenage experience of making plans to go out on Saturday". a7N世界播


She's had to face up to being lonely and has become part of a charity project, Lonely Not Alone, that is helping young people to challenge the stigma of loneliness. a7N世界播


"I think I've been forced to grow up," she says. a7N世界播



Vruti Patel says pregnant women are missing out on the advice and company of other mothers-to-be a7N世界播

Vruti Patel说,孕妇错过了其他准妈妈的建议和陪伴a7N世界播

Vruti Patel is expecting her first baby. "I've felt really lonely - I just want another mum to talk to," she says. a7N世界播


Unable to attend ante-natal classes and working from home, the 33-year-old from London says she's felt cut off from mutual support. a7N世界播


If she's worried about her pregnancy, "I want to hear someone say it's totally normal". a7N世界播


"Loneliness is a very big issue - but it's not as much talked about. It needs to be brought to light," says Vruti. a7N世界播


She's turned to technology to connect with other expectant mothers through a social networking app called Peanut. a7N世界播


But she thinks the isolation and loneliness of pregnant women during the pandemic needs much more attention. a7N世界播


"It's a much bigger impact than being able to go to the pub," says Vruti. a7N世界播


Eric Klinenberg, an author and professor at New York University, takes a very different view to loneliness in the pandemic. a7N世界播

纽约大学(New York University)作家兼教授埃里克·克莱恩伯格(Eric Klinenberg)对流感大流行中的孤独持截然不同的观点。a7N世界播

"Has it taken on a new dimension? Sure. But what hasn't?" says Prof Klinenberg. a7N世界播


"It's a very hard time to be living alone. It's also a very hard time living with other people. It's just a hard time to be living. a7N世界播


"I'm married with kids and I certainly didn't sign up for living in the same house 24/7, fighting over everything all the time." a7N世界播


He says loneliness might have increased in the pandemic, but suggests we might have to accept it as part of modern living and individualism. a7N世界播


"Are we really worried about a small dose of loneliness?" a7N世界播


He argues that being independent and individual brings with it the greater likelihood of being alone sometimes - and that isn't necessarily always a bad thing. a7N世界播


"We've experienced loneliness for a long time - it's a feature of modernity," he says. a7N世界播


"Living on your own, you're more isolated anyway," says Niall Horan, a 53-year-old living in London, who argues a big city population isn't necessarily a defence against feeling alone. a7N世界播

居住在伦敦的53岁的尼尔·霍兰(Niall Horan)说:“独自生活,反正你会变得更加孤立。”他认为,大城市的人口并不一定能抵御孤独感。a7N世界播

He has suffered from depression and takes conscious steps to avoid loneliness, which he says in the past has been a problem for him. a7N世界播


"A cup of coffee with someone can completely change it," he says. a7N世界播


"The lockdown has made me realise we're social animals. We're not meant to be in isolation." a7N世界播


He says that loneliness itself is like a "separate illness". a7N世界播


Niall is gay and says that while growing up, he faced a lack of acceptance that was a form of loneliness - and he is determined not to allow it to take root in his life now. a7N世界播


He is involved in the Oasis church group and does voluntary work a couple of days a week, maintaining connections and keeping around people. Even going to the supermarket can "lift your spirits", Niall says. a7N世界播


"You have to be careful with your loneliness." a7N世界播


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